i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
