if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
