1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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