ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
