Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
