Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
