i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you never un-have a 4some
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
