I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
