i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
