question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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