What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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