We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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