Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
