First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
