i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
party gras won. party gras always wins.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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