It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
