Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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