She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
