The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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