She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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