Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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