I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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