You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i would punch a child for taco bell
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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