someone get that fucking seahorse.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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