Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
