Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
