Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
