8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
