I just made out with a guy for $7.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this boner is exhausting
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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