My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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