Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
