I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
