Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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