Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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