His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
