how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This baby is an asshole
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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