Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
