where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
