Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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