why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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