I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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