I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
