She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
