Don't you send me to vm
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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