I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
