Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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