it was like his penis was on wheels.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
