Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
