I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
