They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
