He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just invented taco cereal.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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