I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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